Late Night Monday Post

I don't know if you have seen this. But it is one of my most favorite sites. Whenever I am feeling down, I just remember I could be Jon Arbuckle.





Also, keep me in your prayers for Wednesday. I have an interview with Carl Zeiss for a marketing/ public relations coordinator position. Wish me luck!

FRIDAY!!!

Yay it's Friday, and I have the whole weekend off. I have not had a weekend off (besides going to Texas) since Easter. Dale and I are going to take care of some wedding stuff and then hopefully sit by the lake all afternoon with books from Barnes and Noble. Then we will try some sushi and go see a movie.

I'm pretty excited. I need to get my wedding shoes this weekend for the fitting on Monday so I need to make time for that.

Yesterday got better after I went to work. I had a long talk with my manager Tina (who is lovely and very supportive), and she really cheered me up. She is an engineer who got laid off on her first job (because of 9/11) and began at Target. Now she is known as an ETL (executive team lead) which basically means she is one of the top managers of Target. We discussed in depth her role yesterday because she (and apparently other ETL's at my store) feels I would be a great ETL and could be promoted directly to that position.

It's a completely different career path, but I'm considering it. On other Target news, I have an informational interview with the communications department on June 30th. I am not that hopeful about it just because I have definitely had a lot of informational interviews in the last few months that have not amounted to anything, but at least it is progress. I am excited about it. I am really looking forward to seeing the inside of headquarters, and who knows maybe this could be my in.

I talked with my mom yesterday about the whole job search, and we talked about me letting go and letting God take over. It is SO hard. I really like to be in control and take care of things myself - I don't want favors or help from people. I have been praying a lot, but it is so hard to not worry and wish and just let Him help guide my life. This is the first year in a long time that I've been reading my Bible more regularly and looking forward to church. It has a lot to do with Dale who has really become more devout as he is getting older which I just love. He reminds me so much of my dad sometimes...wow that makes me miss my dad just saying that.

That is probably one of the reasons I am going to marry him. He is silly and goofy like Dad but an extremely hard worker when it comes to his career. Also, Dale will never (and I mean never) say no to helping someone else even strangers (just like Dad). So I'm glad that he is becoming more of the Christian leader in our house like my dad was in my house.

This posting has gone all over the place. So there's an update if not brief at least a little thorough. :)

:(

Nothing like a bad day to follow a good one. Just got a call from Target, and I was scheduled to come in at 11:30 am...I thought I went in at 2:30. I feel like an idiot and erupted into tears after hanging up. So now I'm waiting on the quiche that's in the oven to be done so I can leave. But I'm pouting and crying like a little kid...because that is how I feel. I can't even work at Target without screwing up my times. They probably think I'm an idiot.

I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.

I'm getting the hopeless blue again. And I was doing so well yesterday. :(

Better Days... :)

Yesterday is behind me, and I am plowing forward. I don't think I rave about Dale enough - so supportive. I called him right before going into Target yesterday and had a complete meltdown - crying on the corner of 9th and Hennepin. Dale did enough encouraging and enough pitying to make me feel better and pull myself together to go to work.

So today, I am emailing and calling up a storm. I feel like a real adult today because I just pitched an idea to a potential employer. I pitched some freelance work with a timeline and price tag attached (of course the price is $0), but hopefully, the potential employer will be excited and bring me on for a while (like an intern) and fall in love with me.

Even if it doesn't pan out, at least I'm taking more control of the situation. I feel like I'm actually DOING something.

Anywho, I've been reconnecting with some old friends. Becky is working in Houston, and she and I have been emailing each other. She is lovely. I absolutely LOVE her and hope we can arrange for her to fly up here soon. I need to call Rich White who has just moved to Dallas to start his new job. I need to find out he's doing, but as I'm sure you know, I'm TERRIBLE at calling people.

Wedding news - wedding dress fitting on Monday, bridal shower in Madisonville some time in September/ October (YAAAAAAY!), bridesmaid/bachelorette weekend on Labor Day weekend, invitations are almost done, Dale and I are deciding the honeymoon place this week (Dale if you are reading this - THIS WEEK), invitation list is almost done, and engagement pics next weekend....exciting.

So you see, I just had to get through yesterday :)

Good days, bad days

So some days I wake up energized ready to tackle the job market excited to find something. Other days (and they are increasing), I wake up feeling depressed not wanting to send 20 emails to receive none in return. I'm just getting really, really tired. Target has been great because it helps pays the bills, and I have met some great people....but I hate it. I'm SOOOO ready to quit. I feel like I spend 90% of my time there daydreaming about the day I will get to quit and start at another job.

While I'm at Target I feel bored but tired/stressed the whole time. I'm on my feet for 8 hours, but I'm not using my head at all. Also, I could live without dealing with the crazies that tend to shop there. I feel like such a complainer. I don't mean to be. I'm just so tired.

I get so depressed thinking about the amount of time I've been without a "real" job. I've been in Minneapolis for almost nine months. I've been out of school for 2 years but only have a year of experience and almost a year of idleness. It's just really frustrating and I feel like it's my fault. That I'm not trying hard enough because I feel like I should have a job by now.

Because I've been in limbo so long, I feel like employers are looking at my resume thinking "what's wrong with her that she hasn't found a job yet." I know the economy is tough and jobs are scarce, but I thought I would have more luck.

I know it's all about keeping the faith, having hope. Just some days are harder than others especially when I go into work at Target. I'm just ready.

But I know tomorrow will probably be a good day and need to get through this bad one.

Ears and Christmas Gifts

Writing that other story made me think of two other ones that are too good not to mention. I should preface these stories with the fact that I was a really annoying little sister. I loved to hang out in Abra's room, bother her friends whenever they were over, and touch/ cuddle her whenever she was in "no-touchy" mood. So please imagine an obnoxious, blonder/ shorter version of myself whenever I am describing these stories.

The first one is simple. I have no idea how old I was. I think I was around 9 or 10 and was hanging out at my mom and dad's vet clinic after school or on a Saturday. I am going to be completely vague because the where and the when don't really matter.

My sister comes into the clinic with my mom. They just got back from College Station (the mecca of all hip and cool things at this time in my life), and Abra is proudly displaying a newly pierced set of ears. She has her hair tucked behind her ears and is waving her head around in front of me trying to get me to notice without saying anything.

"Notice anything different," she says still shaking her head back and forth.

I study her, and then finally notice her new ear holes. But then in all my brilliance I reply excitedly, "Abra, you have EARS!"

Yay, me (please feel free to giggle because I'm smiling just remembering it).

Okay, the other story is short and sweet too. I was around the same age. It's Christmas time. My sister's best friend is name Karen (and is kinda my idol to a certain extent). Abra has purchased her a gift and wrapped it.

I walk into Abra's room. See the gift. Pick it up. And then I ask, "Abra, have you given this to Karen yet?"

Abra just looks at me like "Rachel think about that statement." It was definitely a "here's your sign" moment. I sheepishly realize my mistake that if she had given it to her it wouldn't be neatly wrapped and sitting in her room, and if I recall correctly, I did the classic quiet replacement of the gift and walked softly backwards out of her room pretending it never happened.

There are two stories that speak volumes about me, and my relationship with my sister. No wonder she still asks me if I have money if we ever go out anywhere together.

Love ya sis.

"You have ears"

Ha somehow this posted before I was done. Enjoy the title that was obviously edited. :)