I have a JOB....well kinda

I met with the Saint Paul Chamber Orchestra today about an internship....and they hired me!!

I'm SUPER excited about it, because I'll be doing the kind of work I've been wanting to do- internal communications, media relations, writing, some events, etc. However, it is unpaid, but I know this is a good thing and will be worth it in the long run.

I'll finally have a schedule again and a CUBE...I never thought I'd miss having a cube, but man I cannot wait to start working in an office environment again. And I may even be starting as early as next week...woo-hoo!

It's in a historic building in downtown Saint Paul, two blocks from the Mississippi. So I'm beyond excited. I will have to find another supplemental job to help pay bills (and for the parking in St. Paul..ugh), but I'm definitely going to be more picky this time. I'm hoping I can find something in a bookstore or museum gift shop....something along those lines.

Anywho, I just wanted to bring you up to speed. Two more shifts at Target, and then I'm done! Hope you're having a stupendous Friday :)

P.S. All the ladies have booked their flights for the bridesmaids' weekend (Labor Day weekend) so the planning can begin! What to eat? what to do? what to drink? I'm in heaven.

I'm Getting Married!

I don't know if you know, but I'm getting married in 3 months....crazy! Oh so many wedding plans to take care of, but here is our engagement pic that is going to be in the Madisonville Meteor next week and the Bryan Eagle the week after that!

Cheers to wedding!

I'm Back and hopefully better than ever...

It's taken ten months, but I think I have finally come to grips with my reality - I am without a job but I am not worthless, lazy, or a failure because of my situation.

The last several weeks has been full of tears, hopeless feelings, and depression. My mom came up to visit last week, and I think she slapped me back to my ole' self. I have quit Target because it is not helping me in my job search or my own self image. I hate working there, and I don't have to. Saturday is my last day, and while I still kinda get sick/ worried about what I will do with the time, I know I'm doing the right thing.

I dreaded going into work each day and was full of jealousy/ hatred of the corporates coming into shop - it was not healthy. After I gave my two week notice, I was scared/ worried about all my extra time, but I think knowing I'm leaving has really energized my job search.

Next week (and last week) I have set up 7 informational interviews. I am meeting with someone from the St. Paul Orchestra about an internship on Friday so hopefully that will go well. I have a meeting with a pastor from my church to talk about volunteer opportunities, and I've emailed a couple community theaters about their volunteer opportunities.

Target showed me that I can't work just for the sake of working. I've got to feel like I'm moving forward toward a goal or at least enjoy it. Also, I hated the lack of routine and that I didn't use my brain while working. Well all that is going to stop. I'm hoping I can set up this internship with the St. Paul Orchestra with a regular schedule and start volunteering regularly at the church/ theaters.

I'm tired of waiting for my life in Minneapolis to begin. So it's starting NOW, and I'm going to do things I want and enjoy. God is going to present the job I need whenever He is ready (and maybe when I'm ready too). I've been thinking too much about myself and need to give back to this awesome city, and then maybe it will give back to me.

So no more tears! Rachel Posey is Back....world watch out.

A Taste

Dale and I took engagement pics on Sunday. Here is a taste. Dale still has to do his magic so there are more to come!

Raindrops on Roses, Whiskers on Kittens, and Shiny Kettles

Things that make me feel good about myself, life, and the world in general:

- Newly painted fingernails in my favorite color - clear
- Writing notes on new stationary
- Singing with Dale while doing the dishes...Disney seems to be a favorite
- Newly applied lipstick
- Babies that make strangers laugh
- Plunko...nuff said
- Inside jokes with my sister...armadillo, armadillo Abra
- Fluffy pillows and comforters on a cold night
- Christmas carols with Chai tea
- Any and every movie with Emma Thompson
- Dale hyped up on energy drinks working at his spot in the living room
- Dad tickling me and Abra until we scream or get mad (not really mad)
- Ringing Mom like a bell
- Neil calling Abra "babe"
- The squirrel that lives outside the living room window
- Corey's cackle
- Mexican martinis and Kerbey queso
- The feeling you get after baking in the sun until you can't stand it and then putting your feet into a chilly pool/ lake
- Finishing a book and wanting to reread it immediately
- Calendars with notes in the margins and crossed out sections
- Bethany's serious look that is all too similar to Abra's
- Open windows during a rain storm
- A magazine, glass of lemonade, flip flops and an empty afternoon
- Susie's hugs...she's so little. I could squeeze her until she pops.
- Dad's laugh/ Dick Van Dyke impersonation
- Broadway tunes while working out
- Ripping the tags off a newly purchased outfit
- Krupa's "Oh, let me tell ya"
- Beer, pajamas, and Battlestar Galactica
- Shaving your legs and then going swimming
- Jenni's Micky impression and that prof we had freshman year "Brazil, Brazil, Brazil"
- Stretching after a 3 mile run
- Filing
- Labeling my emails and trashing the SPAM
- Grown men who use the word "cute"
- Summer in MN after that ridiculously long winter we had

So I'm feeling better today (if you couldn't tell). I'm SOOOO excited because my mommy
is going to visit me on July 13th through the 16th. She is going with me to my wedding dress fitting. Plus, I think she knew I need to see her. Hope you are enjoying your summer day no matter where you are!

Routine

I'm missing a routine. I recently realized that I've stopped looking forward to things and planning ahead. I'm looking foward to the wedding but it depresses me to think I might still be working in Target in November. Back in Austin, I looked forward to the weekends and planned dinners, outings with Dale, and happy hours with friends. Here I don't do that anymore. I mostly work weekends, and I haven't really made any friends here (except for Britta and Amy).

I'm having a blue day. I really miss getting up every day at the same time and having my weekends. I'm missing getting to work out at the same time and knowing what my schedule is the next week. I know I've said this a thousand times in the last few months, but I am ready for a job, a good job. I feel like such a bum that I don't get up until 8:45 or 9:00 am every day and watch TV while I get ready. I know it's because I work evenings but it makes me feel down.

I'm going to go work out and try get over this blue day, but I think I'm just tired, really tired. I hate too that I feel like when I talk about this I bring everyone else down especially Dale. I think I make him feel guilty for moving here which is not my intention at all. If the economy hadn't taken a turn, who knows where I would be. So I'm feeling guilty, bummish, and blue today.

I applied for a job at Target headquarters which I'm really excited about and depressed about. I'm excited because it seems like the perfect position but feel depressed because I don't want to get my hopes up and the likelihood I'll even get an interview is slim. I met with someone from headquarters yesterday for an informational interview. She was great. So nice and very helpful. But like I said I'm just worried because I want this position so much, so much more than every other position I've applied for.

Therefore, I'm even more anxious about this rejection that may come. I'm trying to keep faith but it's hard. It's hard because I know how competitive it is, how many promising interviews I've had that amounted to nothing and the chances I'll even get an interview. I'm scared to want this position so bad because I don't want the disappointment.

Faith is hard.

Lessons Learned from the Job Front

- The "we'll keep in touch" line at the end of an interview is the equivalent to the "I'll call you tomorrow; we should do this again" at the end of a date...so don't hold your breath

- Black suits are not really necessary anymore. I've gotten more compliments/ comments on my interview clothes which consist of a flowered skirt, a white blouse and JCrew blue sweater.

- Thank you notes are a must. Never skimp on this - it sets you a part.

- Honesty is appreciated but should be avoided...jk. Employers seem to enjoy straightforward talking, but I don't know if it's effective since I haven't gotten a job yet.

- Befriend the secretary/ HR rep. They will remember you and pull for you in the end. I'm still in contact with several secretaries/ HR rep's that send me info when openings occur.

- When a HR rep promises to call you by a certain day, don't necessarily believe them. I've had at least four different companies promise to call by Friday, but didn't end up calling until the next week...lame.

- Tough skin is a must, but a sincere heart is required. Sometimes I think the employers like me because I'm sincere and lay my heart out instead of my qualifications/ skills. Whenever they have given me the all dreaded rejection phone call, they have always asked me to give them a call if I need a reference and have followed up with any requests I make.

- Friendliness trumps aggresiveness any day.

- A firm handshake can make or break the deal. The other day I met with a potential employer who after meeting me told me to educate the rest of the young women she had met recently and tutor them in a good handshake. No limp wrist here.

- It's all business...unless you make a personal connection. We all like to think that it's all about the skills and the work, but you have to work with these people every day. Share lunches together. Work late together. Overcome personal backgrounds/ beliefs to meet minds. It's very personal because you want to work with people you like...or at least you can tolerate. So FIRST make your employers like YOU (personally) and then prove to them you can do the job.

- There is a light at the end of the tunnel even if you can't see it. Faith. That is what's all about. Faith in yourself. Faith that the right job is out there. Faith that God will provide.

I had an interview last week with Carl Zeiss for a job I was completely underqualified for. It was very strange. They wanted someone with 5+ years and yet they called me to meet their VP of marketing...weird. They were supposed to call me last Friday. Shockingly, no call came. Oh well, their loss.

I'm meeting with someone from Target headquarters today, and I'm SO excited. Hopefully it will go well. I applied for a job in communications on Friday and hoping that it is all part of God's plan for me. You hear that God, I'm trying to let go. Rachel "control-freak" Posey is trying to let go.

Wish me luck!