It's taken ten months, but I think I have finally come to grips with my reality - I am without a job but I am not worthless, lazy, or a failure because of my situation.
The last several weeks has been full of tears, hopeless feelings, and depression. My mom came up to visit last week, and I think she slapped me back to my ole' self. I have quit Target because it is not helping me in my job search or my own self image. I hate working there, and I don't have to. Saturday is my last day, and while I still kinda get sick/ worried about what I will do with the time, I know I'm doing the right thing.
I dreaded going into work each day and was full of jealousy/ hatred of the corporates coming into shop - it was not healthy. After I gave my two week notice, I was scared/ worried about all my extra time, but I think knowing I'm leaving has really energized my job search.
Next week (and last week) I have set up 7 informational interviews. I am meeting with someone from the St. Paul Orchestra about an internship on Friday so hopefully that will go well. I have a meeting with a pastor from my church to talk about volunteer opportunities, and I've emailed a couple community theaters about their volunteer opportunities.
Target showed me that I can't work just for the sake of working. I've got to feel like I'm moving forward toward a goal or at least enjoy it. Also, I hated the lack of routine and that I didn't use my brain while working. Well all that is going to stop. I'm hoping I can set up this internship with the St. Paul Orchestra with a regular schedule and start volunteering regularly at the church/ theaters.
I'm tired of waiting for my life in Minneapolis to begin. So it's starting NOW, and I'm going to do things I want and enjoy. God is going to present the job I need whenever He is ready (and maybe when I'm ready too). I've been thinking too much about myself and need to give back to this awesome city, and then maybe it will give back to me.
So no more tears! Rachel Posey is Back....world watch out.
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