Give me a pocket protector and call me a nerd!

So it's interesting. I have always considered myself a writer, communication, Englishy type person. Those are the things I am good at. In grade school, I was always good at math, but it wasn't something that really excited me. Although I am not talking about traditional math equations (2+2 and all that), I'm becoming the math/ excel expert at work. The marketing team is currently working on budgets for next year and analyzing past data, and I am beginning to realize that I LOVE doing that type of work. I'm really good at looking at the data and making it easier to understand (plus excel has a crapload tools that do that for you). Also, because I like to explain things and communicate, I enjoy explaining these tools to my less-savvy excel users - it's really fun. I just spent 3 hours on excel trying to match up some missing data and wasn't bored one bit. Once I figured it out, I was so proud of myself.

Anyways, it was just a little personal discovery today, and I want to give a little shoutout. "Dan Courtright, thank you so much for making me use excel and understand the power of the pivot table. You may have helped me become an asset to my new team. THANK YOU!"

So excuse me while I go run some macros, listen to some Broadway, and put scotch tape on my glasses.

Birthday Present

My parents were completely fabulous and got me a sewing machine for my 24th birthday! I was ecstatic, and now I'm biding my time until I have enough money/ time to sew. So I warn you now - you will most likely be receiving hand sewn Christmas gifts this year. I'll post a picture of my little work space that Dale set up for me, but for now - World meet Magnolia my sewing machine. Magnolia, wave to the nice people.

I've been terrible

I know I haven't posted in FOREVER but I have my reasons/ excuses :)

First and foremost because I have not posted about it yet - I have a new job. I am the new marketing assistant at Faegre & Benson, the largest law firm in MN. I started the day after my birthday and so far I'm loving it. I'm working downtown in a lovely skyscraper just a few blocks from Dale (we've already had lunch together and plan to do it weekly). Of course there has to be a catch of some sort when something this wonderful happens. I am only a temporary marketing assistant in that I'm only guaranteed work until January. I am coming onto the team to cover for a young woman who is going on maternity leave until January. I've already made it clear to my boss Adam Severson, director of marketing and business development that I'm going to do everything I can to make the department fall in love with me so they won't want me to leave in January.

So I have my moments of panic when I think I might be looking for a job again in January, but right now I've got bigger things to worry about - like the WEDDING. It is less than 2 months away (my heart just sped up thinking about it). There is SO much to do. I'm starting to stress a little bit.

I'm going to Texas next weekend for bridal portraits, bridal shower, and final decisions. I'm meeting my wedding planner for the first time and hopefully confirm all the final details. Poor Dale has been putting up with my crazy moods about the wedding - one moment I'm excited and carefree and the next I'm anxious and a nag, but he's great and that's why I'm marrying him.

Also in other news, my lovely bridesmaids came to visit me

on Labor Day weekend (my birthday) except for Bethany who couldn't make it. But we did not forget her and brought her in spirit (look at the pictures carefully). We talked, ate, and drank a lot. It was wonderful and made me miss Texas very much. It was really nice having everyone one in the same room, and I could not have asked for a better way to celebrate marriage and birthday in weekend.

These are some pictures from that lovely weekend (really just from Saturday night in which we experienced corn dog sushi).

So bear with me when I don't post for a while. I'm dealing with a new job and a wedding. It's exciting stuff.

Job

So there is a reason that I haven't posted or mentioned my new job (pending). I am waiting until I have the offer in my hand, signed and ready, before I start spouting joy and sunshine.

Details to come soon....very soon...hopefully sometime before the Sept. 8th (my tenative start date).

Deja Vu

I just had the strongest feeling of deja vu during a meeting at SPCO. It was a marketing meeting, and they were discussing an issue with their telemarketing company. I almost had a complete freak out because I had done that before.

So in a past life I worked for a nonprofit orchestra whose telemarketing firm decides to quit on them...weird.

Completely weirded me out, and now I don't feel like working :)

Updates

- Krupa was in town this weekend, and it was AMAZING to see her

- My lovely friend Becky will be visiting the weekend before Labor Day...I'm too blessed to have all these lovely ladies visiting me. She'll be here when the state fair is in town. Note Becky - stretchy pants are a must

- I didn't get the office manager job at Theater Latte Da...found out a little over an hour ago. I'm pretty devastated and have cried a lot since then. Dale is a doll and took off work to hang out with me while I cope. Oh, the job search, the bane of my existence.

- I do have an internship with the Ordway Performing Arts Center which I'm now going to take since I do not have a full time job...which is unpaid

- I'm still meeting with Liem on Friday

- I got a random call from Padilla Speer Beardsley to schedule a writing test...although they are NOT hiring; because I'm unemployed I don't mind wasting the 90 minutes and am taking it on Wed.

- I received another out of the blue phone call with the woman I interviewed with at that law firm back in May. There is a temp position at another law firm, and she has recommended me to the manager for it so I just sent her my updated resume...we'll see what happens

- I'm feeling down again about the job hunt but I think it's just because I don't like rejection

- Please keep me in your prayers

Thanks for all your support!

Theatre Latte Da

Happy Thursday! I am taking a short break at SPCO from some data entry work, and I feel like my eyes my start bleeding - but I'm not complaining. It's great to be in an office again. So on Monday I had an informational interview with the managing director of a small musical theatre here in Minneapolis called Theatre Latte Da. I met her accidently the week before at a Starbucks where I was meeting one of her old colleagues at Artspace. She came by our table and said hello, and then the person I was meeting with insisted I meet with her as well because of her connections and career. So we met on Monday and really hit off, and she's currently looking for an office manager. At first, I wasn't that interested to being an admin, but then when she began describing everything involved with the role, I realized that I would be more her assistant than admin. Also, the role has the opportunity to really take on the marketing/ pr/ development part of the business. Well I interviewed with her more formally yesterday for the position, and I think it went well, but I just never know anymore. So to cut to the chase - I am waiting on a phone call. She told me she would make a decision by Friday and would call me either way (which I have heard before but I think I really believe her).



So we'll see. Krupa is coming in to town on Friday for a wedding. Exciting! We're planning to grab some drinks on Friday and maybe hang by the lake on Sat. I tried on my wedding dress on Wed and love it more and more each time I see it. I'm hoping I'll be a little more toned by the time the wedding rolls around (I say this as I munch on a muffin...irony). So that's what's going on here. It finally feels like summer here. It is 90 degrees today and humid. I have to say while it's nice I'm really looking forward to fall.



Happy Thursday !

Danny DeVito

I just followed a man 3 blocks because he looked JUST like Danny DeVito. This would be a much cooler story if it had been him, but unfortunately it was just a short stocky old man... who had a strange young woman following him for no reason :)

Chair Obsession

Dale and I love chairs. Not big fluffy armchair for reading in but office chairs. It's mostly Dale, but somehow he has taken me a long this ridiculous ride. I've been interning SPCO for a total of two days and am taking a chair home with me. They're doing a "beautification" of the office and an awesome 60's chair isn't beautiful enough...so it's coming home with me. Where it's going to go?...I have no idea.

Also, Dale and I own 12 chairs...I mean 13...only 2 are dining room chairs and 2 are stools. Here is a picture of what the chair kinda looks like. Nice, right? It's not as shabby as this one and has more detailing but this is the design.

Updates

- I am interning at the Saint Paul Chamber Orchestra in marketing/ pr

- I am volunteering at my church's Dignity Center which provides resources for the homeless; I'm a receptionist (and I'm about to head that way this morning)

- I'm helping with VBS; building Rome in fact

- The wedding is less than 3 months away...aaaahhhhhhhhh! That is so hard to believe.

- Summer weather has been so bizarre. One day it will be 80 and humid and then the next day will be 50. It has been nice to be able to be outside without dying of heat stroke...but still bizarre.

- The girls are coming up in a few weeks, and I'm thinking about it daily. It's going to be great.

- I'm turning 24 soon...weird.

- Dale's shirt for Threadless was finally printed and is awesome. You should check it out.

- I interviewed with the Ordway Performing Arts Center last Friday about a 2nd internship, and I'll find out about that this week. I'm not sure if I got it, but we'll see.

- Liem from Compellent called me out of the blue two weeks ago about that job I had interviewed for back in December. I'm meeting with him next Friday.

- With the wedding getting closer and closer, I'm starting to stress a little more and more about all the details. I'll be glad once that day is here and done, and Dale and I are on our way to Hawaii

- My computer has officially died (I'm using Dale's computer right now). It started smoking and everything. So now I'm dependent on Dale's computer in the evening and the public library during the day...fun. Susie is an angel and is letting me use her old computer which she is sending to me - man, how did I get such great friends?

- I've been doing a lot of informational interviews in the performing arts industry and have even made some friends. I'm going to work out with a girl on Friday, and tomorrow I'm going to see Harry Potter again with Kate from Target. Yay, for friends!

Those are the updates. Have a lovely Monday!

Channeling Lucille Ball 1

On my first day at Target, I had a guest ask me where the "pop" was. This is how it played out.

"Excuse me, where's the pop?"

"I'm sorry the what?"

"The pop?"

I shook my head. "I'm sorry the what?"

"Pah-OP"

"Oh the pop!" I quickly took her to aisle G12, and she looked at me like I was crazy.

"Miss, I asked for the pop. Why the hell are we in the cereal aisle? Where's your Mountain Dew?"

Oh. She wanted soda not Pops the cereal. Yay, Midwest!

Cuisine a la Posey 2

4th of July Meal

Belated pic of 4th of July celebration food. We had fried chicken, deviled eggs, potato salad, and s'mores. Delicious. It is the best fried chicken recipe I've found. It is also a Barefoot Contessa recipe, and highly recommend it to anyone who wants extra crispy chicken without a deep fryer.

Mmmm...kinda makes me want chicken tonight, but we're having some steak and gnocchi instead. We're off to see Julie&Julia this afternoon. Cooking is awesome!

Waiting to start my internship on a bench outside

There are moments when you can really hear life. Not the loud sounds of a city which are all man made or the boisterous echoes of a National Geographic episode but in the moments when your lungs fill with fresh air and an excitement builds in the pit of your stomach for no reason. Your mouth waters with anticipation and every sequential breath feels like cool clear water on a dry thirsty afternoon. You may be stiiting on a man made bench in the middle of a man made street but you can feel the life squeezed into each stone. The rustle of leaves against an awning sounds like music and the clicking of heels against pavement like applause. That stone beneath your feet once resided in a mountainside or a dried up riverbed. And in that fleeting moment it reminds you of its roots. Its light earthy smell that is just barely perceivable calls you back to nature, back to before street cars, highways, and drink koozies. Drink it in while it lasts. Hold on to the excitement. Let your stomach revel in the feeling of standing on the stone of a riverbed, a mountainside. Oh but wait life is calling. Files must be made. Emails to be sent. Goodbye man made stone. Maybe we'll meet again on a different morning when I'm craving something wilder that the man made.

Cuisine a la Posey 1

I recently bought Barefoot Contessa Home Cooking which is AWESOME. I sat down and read it (not skimmed it) cover to cover. It made me want to stay home and cook every night so Dale is SOOOOO lucky right now because I'm on a cooking frenzy. Anywho, I baked this fabulous cake, and Dale and I are slowly consuming it...despite the wedding being less than 3 months away and there is entirely too much flab on this body for that special day.

I'm going to bed early so I can hopefully inspire myself to get up early and run before heading over to Saint Paul for my internship.

Revampathon

I seem to be having trouble being consistent with the postings. So I considered this problem and came up with this solution. Many times I feel extremely narcissistic to only talk about myself so I've come up with some Blog Topics that will give me something to write about every day. You can now expect the following episodes when reading my blog:

Everyday Doodle
- I am a doodler. I like drawing characters, and when I'm at a loss for words you will get to enjoy my artistic genius in the form of doodles.

Channeling Lucille Ball
- If you know me well, you know that I am a picture of decorum and never say or do anything remotely embarrassing/ funny. However, there are moments when Lucille Ball possesses my body and has me commit actions that brings my mother to laughter or a grimace. I shall recount some of these Lucille Ball moments, and I hope you enjoy them.

Uncritical Critic
- I am not a music guru. I am not picky nor do I seek out new and exciting bands. In fact, I am content to listen to my "Best of Broadway" album over and over again with a splash of Dean Martin or Frank Sinatra mixed in. But living with a music enthusiast has influenced me so now I'm listening to more and more "indie" music and venturing out of my Broadway cocoon. In these posts, I will review the latest album I've listened to. Do not expect anything special because I know nothing of music, but for the non-music expert, it might be nice to hear from a fellow novice.

Handmade Crap
- Pictures and descriptions of things I have made

Cuisine a la Posey
- I love to cook and am pretty proud of some of my creations. So damn it, I'm going to brag. You will just have to deal with my blatant bragging.

Running Days
- I am not a runner. I do not really enjoy running until it is over. But I do know that it is good for me. I really want to do a half marathon and have been running more frequently. Some of my best ideas usually occur on the trails, but that doesn't mean I enjoy it anymore. These posts will be filled with complaining, fake enthusiasm, and accounts of my running.


We'll see how this goes. Hopefully it will enlighten you and show you the secret wisdom I possess or at the very least make you smile :)

I have a JOB....well kinda

I met with the Saint Paul Chamber Orchestra today about an internship....and they hired me!!

I'm SUPER excited about it, because I'll be doing the kind of work I've been wanting to do- internal communications, media relations, writing, some events, etc. However, it is unpaid, but I know this is a good thing and will be worth it in the long run.

I'll finally have a schedule again and a CUBE...I never thought I'd miss having a cube, but man I cannot wait to start working in an office environment again. And I may even be starting as early as next week...woo-hoo!

It's in a historic building in downtown Saint Paul, two blocks from the Mississippi. So I'm beyond excited. I will have to find another supplemental job to help pay bills (and for the parking in St. Paul..ugh), but I'm definitely going to be more picky this time. I'm hoping I can find something in a bookstore or museum gift shop....something along those lines.

Anywho, I just wanted to bring you up to speed. Two more shifts at Target, and then I'm done! Hope you're having a stupendous Friday :)

P.S. All the ladies have booked their flights for the bridesmaids' weekend (Labor Day weekend) so the planning can begin! What to eat? what to do? what to drink? I'm in heaven.

I'm Getting Married!

I don't know if you know, but I'm getting married in 3 months....crazy! Oh so many wedding plans to take care of, but here is our engagement pic that is going to be in the Madisonville Meteor next week and the Bryan Eagle the week after that!

Cheers to wedding!

I'm Back and hopefully better than ever...

It's taken ten months, but I think I have finally come to grips with my reality - I am without a job but I am not worthless, lazy, or a failure because of my situation.

The last several weeks has been full of tears, hopeless feelings, and depression. My mom came up to visit last week, and I think she slapped me back to my ole' self. I have quit Target because it is not helping me in my job search or my own self image. I hate working there, and I don't have to. Saturday is my last day, and while I still kinda get sick/ worried about what I will do with the time, I know I'm doing the right thing.

I dreaded going into work each day and was full of jealousy/ hatred of the corporates coming into shop - it was not healthy. After I gave my two week notice, I was scared/ worried about all my extra time, but I think knowing I'm leaving has really energized my job search.

Next week (and last week) I have set up 7 informational interviews. I am meeting with someone from the St. Paul Orchestra about an internship on Friday so hopefully that will go well. I have a meeting with a pastor from my church to talk about volunteer opportunities, and I've emailed a couple community theaters about their volunteer opportunities.

Target showed me that I can't work just for the sake of working. I've got to feel like I'm moving forward toward a goal or at least enjoy it. Also, I hated the lack of routine and that I didn't use my brain while working. Well all that is going to stop. I'm hoping I can set up this internship with the St. Paul Orchestra with a regular schedule and start volunteering regularly at the church/ theaters.

I'm tired of waiting for my life in Minneapolis to begin. So it's starting NOW, and I'm going to do things I want and enjoy. God is going to present the job I need whenever He is ready (and maybe when I'm ready too). I've been thinking too much about myself and need to give back to this awesome city, and then maybe it will give back to me.

So no more tears! Rachel Posey is Back....world watch out.

A Taste

Dale and I took engagement pics on Sunday. Here is a taste. Dale still has to do his magic so there are more to come!

Raindrops on Roses, Whiskers on Kittens, and Shiny Kettles

Things that make me feel good about myself, life, and the world in general:

- Newly painted fingernails in my favorite color - clear
- Writing notes on new stationary
- Singing with Dale while doing the dishes...Disney seems to be a favorite
- Newly applied lipstick
- Babies that make strangers laugh
- Plunko...nuff said
- Inside jokes with my sister...armadillo, armadillo Abra
- Fluffy pillows and comforters on a cold night
- Christmas carols with Chai tea
- Any and every movie with Emma Thompson
- Dale hyped up on energy drinks working at his spot in the living room
- Dad tickling me and Abra until we scream or get mad (not really mad)
- Ringing Mom like a bell
- Neil calling Abra "babe"
- The squirrel that lives outside the living room window
- Corey's cackle
- Mexican martinis and Kerbey queso
- The feeling you get after baking in the sun until you can't stand it and then putting your feet into a chilly pool/ lake
- Finishing a book and wanting to reread it immediately
- Calendars with notes in the margins and crossed out sections
- Bethany's serious look that is all too similar to Abra's
- Open windows during a rain storm
- A magazine, glass of lemonade, flip flops and an empty afternoon
- Susie's hugs...she's so little. I could squeeze her until she pops.
- Dad's laugh/ Dick Van Dyke impersonation
- Broadway tunes while working out
- Ripping the tags off a newly purchased outfit
- Krupa's "Oh, let me tell ya"
- Beer, pajamas, and Battlestar Galactica
- Shaving your legs and then going swimming
- Jenni's Micky impression and that prof we had freshman year "Brazil, Brazil, Brazil"
- Stretching after a 3 mile run
- Filing
- Labeling my emails and trashing the SPAM
- Grown men who use the word "cute"
- Summer in MN after that ridiculously long winter we had

So I'm feeling better today (if you couldn't tell). I'm SOOOO excited because my mommy
is going to visit me on July 13th through the 16th. She is going with me to my wedding dress fitting. Plus, I think she knew I need to see her. Hope you are enjoying your summer day no matter where you are!

Routine

I'm missing a routine. I recently realized that I've stopped looking forward to things and planning ahead. I'm looking foward to the wedding but it depresses me to think I might still be working in Target in November. Back in Austin, I looked forward to the weekends and planned dinners, outings with Dale, and happy hours with friends. Here I don't do that anymore. I mostly work weekends, and I haven't really made any friends here (except for Britta and Amy).

I'm having a blue day. I really miss getting up every day at the same time and having my weekends. I'm missing getting to work out at the same time and knowing what my schedule is the next week. I know I've said this a thousand times in the last few months, but I am ready for a job, a good job. I feel like such a bum that I don't get up until 8:45 or 9:00 am every day and watch TV while I get ready. I know it's because I work evenings but it makes me feel down.

I'm going to go work out and try get over this blue day, but I think I'm just tired, really tired. I hate too that I feel like when I talk about this I bring everyone else down especially Dale. I think I make him feel guilty for moving here which is not my intention at all. If the economy hadn't taken a turn, who knows where I would be. So I'm feeling guilty, bummish, and blue today.

I applied for a job at Target headquarters which I'm really excited about and depressed about. I'm excited because it seems like the perfect position but feel depressed because I don't want to get my hopes up and the likelihood I'll even get an interview is slim. I met with someone from headquarters yesterday for an informational interview. She was great. So nice and very helpful. But like I said I'm just worried because I want this position so much, so much more than every other position I've applied for.

Therefore, I'm even more anxious about this rejection that may come. I'm trying to keep faith but it's hard. It's hard because I know how competitive it is, how many promising interviews I've had that amounted to nothing and the chances I'll even get an interview. I'm scared to want this position so bad because I don't want the disappointment.

Faith is hard.

Lessons Learned from the Job Front

- The "we'll keep in touch" line at the end of an interview is the equivalent to the "I'll call you tomorrow; we should do this again" at the end of a date...so don't hold your breath

- Black suits are not really necessary anymore. I've gotten more compliments/ comments on my interview clothes which consist of a flowered skirt, a white blouse and JCrew blue sweater.

- Thank you notes are a must. Never skimp on this - it sets you a part.

- Honesty is appreciated but should be avoided...jk. Employers seem to enjoy straightforward talking, but I don't know if it's effective since I haven't gotten a job yet.

- Befriend the secretary/ HR rep. They will remember you and pull for you in the end. I'm still in contact with several secretaries/ HR rep's that send me info when openings occur.

- When a HR rep promises to call you by a certain day, don't necessarily believe them. I've had at least four different companies promise to call by Friday, but didn't end up calling until the next week...lame.

- Tough skin is a must, but a sincere heart is required. Sometimes I think the employers like me because I'm sincere and lay my heart out instead of my qualifications/ skills. Whenever they have given me the all dreaded rejection phone call, they have always asked me to give them a call if I need a reference and have followed up with any requests I make.

- Friendliness trumps aggresiveness any day.

- A firm handshake can make or break the deal. The other day I met with a potential employer who after meeting me told me to educate the rest of the young women she had met recently and tutor them in a good handshake. No limp wrist here.

- It's all business...unless you make a personal connection. We all like to think that it's all about the skills and the work, but you have to work with these people every day. Share lunches together. Work late together. Overcome personal backgrounds/ beliefs to meet minds. It's very personal because you want to work with people you like...or at least you can tolerate. So FIRST make your employers like YOU (personally) and then prove to them you can do the job.

- There is a light at the end of the tunnel even if you can't see it. Faith. That is what's all about. Faith in yourself. Faith that the right job is out there. Faith that God will provide.

I had an interview last week with Carl Zeiss for a job I was completely underqualified for. It was very strange. They wanted someone with 5+ years and yet they called me to meet their VP of marketing...weird. They were supposed to call me last Friday. Shockingly, no call came. Oh well, their loss.

I'm meeting with someone from Target headquarters today, and I'm SO excited. Hopefully it will go well. I applied for a job in communications on Friday and hoping that it is all part of God's plan for me. You hear that God, I'm trying to let go. Rachel "control-freak" Posey is trying to let go.

Wish me luck!

Late Night Monday Post

I don't know if you have seen this. But it is one of my most favorite sites. Whenever I am feeling down, I just remember I could be Jon Arbuckle.





Also, keep me in your prayers for Wednesday. I have an interview with Carl Zeiss for a marketing/ public relations coordinator position. Wish me luck!

FRIDAY!!!

Yay it's Friday, and I have the whole weekend off. I have not had a weekend off (besides going to Texas) since Easter. Dale and I are going to take care of some wedding stuff and then hopefully sit by the lake all afternoon with books from Barnes and Noble. Then we will try some sushi and go see a movie.

I'm pretty excited. I need to get my wedding shoes this weekend for the fitting on Monday so I need to make time for that.

Yesterday got better after I went to work. I had a long talk with my manager Tina (who is lovely and very supportive), and she really cheered me up. She is an engineer who got laid off on her first job (because of 9/11) and began at Target. Now she is known as an ETL (executive team lead) which basically means she is one of the top managers of Target. We discussed in depth her role yesterday because she (and apparently other ETL's at my store) feels I would be a great ETL and could be promoted directly to that position.

It's a completely different career path, but I'm considering it. On other Target news, I have an informational interview with the communications department on June 30th. I am not that hopeful about it just because I have definitely had a lot of informational interviews in the last few months that have not amounted to anything, but at least it is progress. I am excited about it. I am really looking forward to seeing the inside of headquarters, and who knows maybe this could be my in.

I talked with my mom yesterday about the whole job search, and we talked about me letting go and letting God take over. It is SO hard. I really like to be in control and take care of things myself - I don't want favors or help from people. I have been praying a lot, but it is so hard to not worry and wish and just let Him help guide my life. This is the first year in a long time that I've been reading my Bible more regularly and looking forward to church. It has a lot to do with Dale who has really become more devout as he is getting older which I just love. He reminds me so much of my dad sometimes...wow that makes me miss my dad just saying that.

That is probably one of the reasons I am going to marry him. He is silly and goofy like Dad but an extremely hard worker when it comes to his career. Also, Dale will never (and I mean never) say no to helping someone else even strangers (just like Dad). So I'm glad that he is becoming more of the Christian leader in our house like my dad was in my house.

This posting has gone all over the place. So there's an update if not brief at least a little thorough. :)

:(

Nothing like a bad day to follow a good one. Just got a call from Target, and I was scheduled to come in at 11:30 am...I thought I went in at 2:30. I feel like an idiot and erupted into tears after hanging up. So now I'm waiting on the quiche that's in the oven to be done so I can leave. But I'm pouting and crying like a little kid...because that is how I feel. I can't even work at Target without screwing up my times. They probably think I'm an idiot.

I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.

I'm getting the hopeless blue again. And I was doing so well yesterday. :(

Better Days... :)

Yesterday is behind me, and I am plowing forward. I don't think I rave about Dale enough - so supportive. I called him right before going into Target yesterday and had a complete meltdown - crying on the corner of 9th and Hennepin. Dale did enough encouraging and enough pitying to make me feel better and pull myself together to go to work.

So today, I am emailing and calling up a storm. I feel like a real adult today because I just pitched an idea to a potential employer. I pitched some freelance work with a timeline and price tag attached (of course the price is $0), but hopefully, the potential employer will be excited and bring me on for a while (like an intern) and fall in love with me.

Even if it doesn't pan out, at least I'm taking more control of the situation. I feel like I'm actually DOING something.

Anywho, I've been reconnecting with some old friends. Becky is working in Houston, and she and I have been emailing each other. She is lovely. I absolutely LOVE her and hope we can arrange for her to fly up here soon. I need to call Rich White who has just moved to Dallas to start his new job. I need to find out he's doing, but as I'm sure you know, I'm TERRIBLE at calling people.

Wedding news - wedding dress fitting on Monday, bridal shower in Madisonville some time in September/ October (YAAAAAAY!), bridesmaid/bachelorette weekend on Labor Day weekend, invitations are almost done, Dale and I are deciding the honeymoon place this week (Dale if you are reading this - THIS WEEK), invitation list is almost done, and engagement pics next weekend....exciting.

So you see, I just had to get through yesterday :)

Good days, bad days

So some days I wake up energized ready to tackle the job market excited to find something. Other days (and they are increasing), I wake up feeling depressed not wanting to send 20 emails to receive none in return. I'm just getting really, really tired. Target has been great because it helps pays the bills, and I have met some great people....but I hate it. I'm SOOOO ready to quit. I feel like I spend 90% of my time there daydreaming about the day I will get to quit and start at another job.

While I'm at Target I feel bored but tired/stressed the whole time. I'm on my feet for 8 hours, but I'm not using my head at all. Also, I could live without dealing with the crazies that tend to shop there. I feel like such a complainer. I don't mean to be. I'm just so tired.

I get so depressed thinking about the amount of time I've been without a "real" job. I've been in Minneapolis for almost nine months. I've been out of school for 2 years but only have a year of experience and almost a year of idleness. It's just really frustrating and I feel like it's my fault. That I'm not trying hard enough because I feel like I should have a job by now.

Because I've been in limbo so long, I feel like employers are looking at my resume thinking "what's wrong with her that she hasn't found a job yet." I know the economy is tough and jobs are scarce, but I thought I would have more luck.

I know it's all about keeping the faith, having hope. Just some days are harder than others especially when I go into work at Target. I'm just ready.

But I know tomorrow will probably be a good day and need to get through this bad one.

Ears and Christmas Gifts

Writing that other story made me think of two other ones that are too good not to mention. I should preface these stories with the fact that I was a really annoying little sister. I loved to hang out in Abra's room, bother her friends whenever they were over, and touch/ cuddle her whenever she was in "no-touchy" mood. So please imagine an obnoxious, blonder/ shorter version of myself whenever I am describing these stories.

The first one is simple. I have no idea how old I was. I think I was around 9 or 10 and was hanging out at my mom and dad's vet clinic after school or on a Saturday. I am going to be completely vague because the where and the when don't really matter.

My sister comes into the clinic with my mom. They just got back from College Station (the mecca of all hip and cool things at this time in my life), and Abra is proudly displaying a newly pierced set of ears. She has her hair tucked behind her ears and is waving her head around in front of me trying to get me to notice without saying anything.

"Notice anything different," she says still shaking her head back and forth.

I study her, and then finally notice her new ear holes. But then in all my brilliance I reply excitedly, "Abra, you have EARS!"

Yay, me (please feel free to giggle because I'm smiling just remembering it).

Okay, the other story is short and sweet too. I was around the same age. It's Christmas time. My sister's best friend is name Karen (and is kinda my idol to a certain extent). Abra has purchased her a gift and wrapped it.

I walk into Abra's room. See the gift. Pick it up. And then I ask, "Abra, have you given this to Karen yet?"

Abra just looks at me like "Rachel think about that statement." It was definitely a "here's your sign" moment. I sheepishly realize my mistake that if she had given it to her it wouldn't be neatly wrapped and sitting in her room, and if I recall correctly, I did the classic quiet replacement of the gift and walked softly backwards out of her room pretending it never happened.

There are two stories that speak volumes about me, and my relationship with my sister. No wonder she still asks me if I have money if we ever go out anywhere together.

Love ya sis.

"You have ears"

Ha somehow this posted before I was done. Enjoy the title that was obviously edited. :)

A Trash Can Story

My grandparents (dad's parents) used to live in Bellville, TX. They lived there until I was about 8 (I think). We spent many a holiday and birthday there. Their house was out in the country, and Abra, Colley, and I played many make believe games. Most of the time we were super heroes who magically obtained powers from touching a magic tree or falling asleep by the mystical shrubbery bush or whatever.

We had lots of special kid places that were completely ordinary but somehow we made them magical. There were two trees that had grown together to form an arch that we called the church tree and a tree house which wasn't really a house so much as a piece of wood laying on a branch with a rope hanging down. There was also a patch of woods behind the house with a railroad track which contained many an adventure.

Lots of room to play, and some really great memories were made there - and some made before ever reaching Mimi and Papa's house.

One time on the way there, Abra and I were looking out the car window. And Abra yells "Look a deer!", and I whipped my head around trying to see the deer (but didn't see it). A few seconds later Abra yells again "Look a squirrel!" Again, I try to catch it but don't see it in time. Again a few seconds later Abra points in a different direction, "Look a bird!" By this time, I should have known that she was messing with me and wasn't actually seeing anything. But I am like 5 or something so this does not occur to me. All I care about is that she is seeing all this glorious wildlife and damn it, I want to see something too.

I keep searching the woods looking for anything that would be cool because I HAVE to be as cool as my big sis. Abra is continuing to point out animals,
"Look a rabbit!"
"Look a skunk!"
I am desperate at this point. Please let me see something. Anything. Please something to point out.
"Look a bird!"
PLEASE GOD, let ME see something. I am searching the woods. Concentrating on something, anything that could be cool. Then I see it.

"LOOK ABRA A TRASH CAN!"

Sure enough. I point out a blue garbage can. My parents immediately erupt into laughter as do me and my sister.

So there is the trash can story...so if you ever hear Abra say "Look Rachel a trash can," you know why.

Home, Hope, and Future Happy Ever Afters

So it's amazing how a trip home to see the fam can change a person's mood. I went to Texas this past weekend to see my sister graduate from nursing school - she is a full blown RN now (Congrats again, Abra). Also, my cousin Colley got married, and it was one of the most unique/ fun wedding I have ever attended.

Between the hot weather, Mexican food, Posey family antics, and traditional Buddhist wedding, I began to feel better about being so far from home and not having a job. So I'm back in the good ole' northwest feeling hopeful and working my butt off to that opening (that I know is out there).

But I HAVE to give some details about my cousin's wedding. Let me just start off describing the Posey family. We are talkative, competitive, hot-natured, large (meaning most of us are over 5'6 and 160 lbs) and Methodist. So when we were told that Colley was marrying a Vietnamese woman in a traditional Buddhist wedding, my sister and I prepared for a wedding of a lifetime. In a Buddhist wedding, it begins in the morning and pretty much lasts all day. The parents of the bride give her away at their home and then travel to the groom's home for a similar ceremony, and there is a reception in the evening.

All of this took place in Houston where even the Devil sweats. So please imagine the large, sweaty, extremely caucasian Poseys interacting with the bride's polite, quiet, small, Asian family. It was quite humorous, and absolutely a blast. The bride's family was extremely sweet, but I am sure they were thinking what is wrong with these white people who can't stop sweating.

The reception was the riot of the day. It took place at a Vietnamese restaurant and was hosted by the most exuberent if slightly less than fluent Vietnameses DJ. The reception consisted of a 10 course meal which I think I ate 4 courses. Although my brother-in-law next to me ate every course even if he wasn't exactly sure what it was. All the time we are eating, there is Vietnamese karoke taking place. My mom and dad threatened us within an inch of our life (especially Abra) to not laugh at any of the wedding, but when the soloist sang "Only You" with a strong Asian accent and my mom started crying with withheld laughter, I knew we were exempt from the rule. The evening continued with Abra and I singing a duet to "Stay" by Lisa Loeb and my uncle Matt singing "Stangers in the Night." Of course the reception held the usual amount of toasting, cake cutting and bouquet tossing, but the night was topped off with the DJ getting couples to compete in saying love the longest, and my dad doing the robot/ "chollo"/ seizure dance on the dance floor to some indescript hip hop song. If you have never met my dad, just imagine a cross between Forest Gump and Tom Hanks in Castaway wiggly his booty and throwing gang signs to hip hops songs. Abra and I did our own fair amount of embarrassing dance move. But I think I enjoyed watching my dad play around with his brothers and sisters and Colley marrying his lady love more than any of the food or drinks I usually enjoy at a wedding. But of course one of the highlights of the night would be my family stopping off at the most disgusting gas station on the way home, and Abra and I cracking up over our hover technique when emptying our bladders.

It was a beautiful if little hilarious wedding. It made me start looking forward to my own upcoming wedding. Dale and I are working out the details of the whens and whats (when we will do our first dance, what song will he dance to with his mom, etc). And we just decided to take a honeymoon - Hawaii here we come!

Exciting stuff.

Email

So I honestly do not think there is anything more depressing than sending over 20 emails in the last 2 days and checking my email to find a Pottery barn dm and DSW dm.

Yuck.

Last week I almost got a job - a really really great job...that I really really wanted. The week prior I received an email for a position at a law firm. They received over 400 applicants for this marketing assistant position, and I was one of six applicants to receive a phone interview. Had the phone interview - it went awesome. They called me back that afternoon and asked for a face to face interview that Thursday. Went to the interview. It was tough, but overall went really well. They call me that afternoon to tell me that they had narrowed it down to me and another candidate. They knew I was perfectly qualified but was afraid I might get bored. They were having a tough time deciding. They would call me the next morning (Friday) to tell me either way.

Friday comes...no call. BTW, I have not slept or eaten since the interview. I have to work at Target that day and am a complete emotional wreck. It is also Dale's birthday...happy birthday Dale. We try to enjoy our weekend (Dale bought an awesome bike for his birthday and we saw a movie) but I'm thinking about the job the whole time. Monday morning ...still no call. I am losing it at this point.

Tuesday...they call. I didn't get the job. I get emotional on the phone with the HR rep but hold it together. Tuesday was awful. I just cried and cried. I went for a run and felt better. Tried to get over it. I didn't really talk to anyone (even Dale) because I knew I would get upset. I have to go to Target...fun. At work, I call my parents to reassure them that I'm okay and am handling it. I upset my mom and start bawling in the coat closet at work. I say some mean things to her...because I'm bitter and upset...and apparently reliving my preteen years of "no one understands me."

Wednesday...I still feel down but I make up with my mom (although I still feel guilty about it). I go to work and try to feel better.

Thursday...work

Friday....more work

Saturday....work (another Saturday of not seeing Dale)...although we did go see Star Trek in the evening...which was nice

Sunday...no church, just work

Monday (yesterday)...work

Tuesday...work

tomorrow...go to Texas

So a lot has happened in the last 2 weeks, and I have been on a complete emotional roller coaster. I'm feeling down a lot and worrying everyone which just makes me feel worse. I'm emailing and calling people, trying to persevere.

But it's getting harder.

So no email responses. Not good.

Funny Memories and a coyote heart

I have become addicted to this blog Tierd. It is one of Hilary's friends (and I've never met her), but she writes about her family and especially her kids. I am completely addicted and always look forward to a new post, and she is really good about posting every day or at least every other day (unlike moi). Anywho, her posts sometimes remind me of silly/ funny memories of me and my sister - like this one.

In Madisonville, all the kindergarten classes take a class trip to my dad's vet clinic (or at least they used to) to see how a vet clinic works and learn about animal health, etc. My parents would remove all the animals in the kennels and would replace them with me and my sister's stuffed animals. So when the kids took a tour, they would see pink bunny rabbits, Care Bears, and Poppels behind the bars instead of depressed, sick dogs and cats. Anywho, my dad had an office in the clinic where he did his work. On his desk, he had animal bones, specimen jars, and other doctor type accessories, but one really caught my attention- a jar containing a coyote heart with heart worms.

However, I need to back track a little. My sister is four years older than me and was born premature - very premature. She was tiny at birth, and I believe her lungs weren't fully developed (but I could be making that up). Anywho, somehow as a kid, I learned this information and knew that when Abra was born, she wasn't completely healthy and had to stay in the hospital. So begins the delusions of a six year old.

When my class visited my dad's vet clinic, of course I showed off. I would point to the stuffed animals and say "that one is MINE, and that one is Abra's" and tell them their names, etc. When we got to my dad's office, and I think our teacher and my dad must have stepped out for a minute because I don't remember any adults being there, I began telling my classmates all about my sister's problems at birth. I pointed to the coyote heart and told them what I believed was the truth at the time. "That jar is my sister's heart. When she was born she needed a new one so my dad gave them the coyote heart, and they put hers back in that jar."

Yup, I told my kindergarten class that my sister had a coyote heart, and her "real" heart was sitting on my dad's desk in this vet clinic. Although this is a ridiculous lie, I really believed it. I have no idea when I realized that it wasn't true, but up until about 3rd grade I think most of my friends believed me. And Carnell Craft, a boy in my class, asked me about this lie whenever we graduated high school. So I'm sorry Abra that I told everyone you had a coyote heart, but isn't that a great story.

Updates

- Liem called me a few weeks ago, no progress in job...I have given up :(
- Working at Target in the market area, it sucks, but it's money
- Wore a tank dress and flip flops today - yay spring
- Hung out by the lake near our house and have finally started on my summer tan; this is the whitest I have ever been (including the womb).
- Lent is over and being a non meat-eater wasn't that bad, but the pork tenderloin on Easter was AMAZING
- Parents visited on Easter, and I miss them even more than ever
- I'm traveling to Texas (minus the Daler...sad) for Abra's graduation
- Everyone's birthday is coming up - Abra, Mom, Dale, Cliff, Neil, Jenni, and Susie (although she is in June); I'm putting on my creative/thinking cap for this next 2 months
- I'm SO ready for a real job and am battling a new bout of depression; I think the anti-news from Liem sent me over the edge but having the Target job is helping and spring too
- Trying to workout more regularly; the schedule on the fridge lasted a few days...lame
- Went running yesterday and really wish I was an awesome athlete like Corey or at least half as dedicated
- Craving some new spring/ summer clothes - but it's highly unlikely for a while
- Dale and I are debt free (except for some student loans) - yay tax refund!
- Super inspired by my book Handmade Nation and can't wait for the documentary which should come out in May
- Uber jealous of all the corporate Target peeps that hang out at the store, analyzing the displays and/or buying lunch
- Running out of job ideas and need help...let me know if you know anyone in MN
- Missing my friends in TX (and CA, IL, NY)..ready to make some real friends here and have ladies to chat with
- Again, SO READY for a real job/ career, but heading off to Target to work the evening shift :)

Inspired to Write by Say Hello, Wave Goodbye by David Gray

There are those moments in your life you never forget. Your first kiss. Riding your bike without your training wheels. The first night alone after losing a loved one.

This was one of the moments. I took a step onto the dock knowing it was a step toward the future and away from the past. I was ashamed that a tear escaped and choked back the emotion. I could hear the ocean behind me and the uncomfortable silence in front of me. I stared at the three strangers waiting just steps away. They had taken a long journey to wait for me here. Of course, I had taken an even longer journey to get here and this moment.

I never knew I would feel more friendship, more kindness, more familiarity with a group of course sailors than my own family. But of course now, they had become my family. I nervously took another step forward feeling the harsh sun burning my cheeks. The ocean's wind whipped my cropped hair against my face, slapping it without any remorse. I had been looking forward to this moment for the last 6 months, and now I was here and I wanted more than anything to turn around back to the ship and my family.

But my real family had their tears in their eyes too. I'm not sure from joy of seeing me or guilt of not recognizing their abandoned daughter. My father stepped forward, grasping my trunk and breaking the frozen moment. I quickly gave a sad wave to my old family and followed my flesh and blood towards the future leaving the ocean, the ship, the adventure and my family behind me...as if it were a dream...a sad, hard, but all too glorious dream.

Marathon Read

I just added up how many pages I read this weekend and am very proud of myself!

Between Thursday at 9pm to Tuesday at 1:30am, I read around 2800 pages (but absolutely nothing else...ha).

Vamps, rain, and a marathon

So I had a marathon reading weekend. Dale and I took a spontaneous trip to Barnes and Noble on Thursday night, and I bought the first book of the Twilight series. I had it read by 11 am on Friday and was itching to read the next one. On Saturday, Dale and I went to enjoy the great weather and walked to my favorite children's book store. I then purchased the second book. I had it read by Sunday morning. Then I proceeded to go to the bookstore and purchase the last two books. I finished the series last night at 1:30 am. It has been a long time since I've done this kind of marathon reading, and it was a very satisfying. But I think Dale is ready to have be back. I've kinda ignored him for the last several days and haven't been going to bed until 2 in the morning.

It's been raining since Sunday, and I'm really ready for some more of that warm weather but it there is a chance of snow tonight - Darn MN weather! Liem is supposed to call me this week to let me one way or another (finally) about the PR job at Compellent. No call yet...boo :(

I have a job at Target, and the orientation was supposed to be yesterday. They called me 2o minutes before to reschedule (b/c the manager training me was taking a personal day) for Thursday. I'm a little bitter because I hadn't planned anything for this week except working at Target and an interview at Paper Source on Thursday.

I'm really excited about Paper Source because it's a really cool little shop that I could spend hours in so hopefully I can pick up some hours there and enjoy being surrounded by art supplies.

I'm ready for warm weather and some final decisions!

St. Patrick's Day

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day (in case you didn't know), and Dale and I celebrated accordingly. At Dale's work, they had this "O'Gong Show" in which new employees had to showcase a talent or something like that and get scored or gonged (if they were terrible). Dale and his friend decided to have a tweenkie eating contest which of course did not go as planned, and both of them nearly choked/ vomited tweenkies...yum. Although afterward Dale acted like any good jr. art director at Carmichael and consumed as much free beer as possible within the few hours the talent show took place.

I met Dale a few hours later to watch the parade downtown, and I must say he was in very good spirits. Some people when they drink become sloppy, irritable, and obnoxious. I have met these people, partied with these people, and now completely avoid these people. Dale is not one of these people. Dale when intoxicated becomes smiley, relaxed, slightly louder, and altogether sweeter (if that is possible). I don't believe the parade would have been nearly as much fun without Dale's smiley, sweet, intoxicated face.

However, I have discovered I becoming more and more like my aunt Candy. I love my aunt Candy and can safely say she is one of my favorite relatives, but Candy has a very short fuse. She gets irritated at almost anything involving the public, and unfortunately, I am becoming like her. At the parade, there was a woman who kept yelling that she wanted a tootsie roll (the parade was throwing candy) and obnoxiously oversharing bits of her life. Of course, a couple that stood in front of Dale and I (which I thought was completely rude since we were sitting) had to talk with this woman and kept trying to one up each other on who was the better roller skater, had the stranger job (the woman had worked at the Renaissance festival, the older man had made some sort of old roller skate), was more Irish. Whenever the tootsie roll woman started talking about how Obama had to be Irish (O'Hannigan, O'Shea,...Obama), I almost lost it and was counting down the minutes until the parade was over....why people, why?

Dale and I went home and had a delightful dinner of stuffed mushroom caps (delicious), creamed spinach, and garlic bread. Overall, it was a very nice Irish holiday!

Updates :)

Updates:

- Clinique never called but got me addicted to their makeup again...lame
- I interviewed with Target for a sales floor position which I applied for months ago..and I got it
- Liem (guy from Compellent) is supposed to call me on Monday about a final decision about a PR job I really want
- Ironically, my first day/ orientation day at Target is Monday at 3pm
- Bethany sent me flowers and completely made my day/ week/ month
- Started working out regulary again via the schedule on my fridge
- Still eating vegetarian, and it's going great! Made creamed spinach last night and was fabulous
- Spring has finally sprung here! Ran yesterday with my fleece and nearly died of heat stroke which made me completely ecstatic. Walked outside 2 days ago without a coat or boots...yay!
- Have less than a hundred pages in Anna Karenina...it will never end
- Finished On Writing by Stephen King and believe he is a genius and want to meet him
- Wedding plans are underway - we have the photographer, music, place, food, guest list, and it is all falling into place, thankfully
- Mindy the cat now has the habit of standing outside our door and meowing a lot...makes me sad
- The mouse has not reappeared (maybe Mindy's meowing has kept it at bay)

Meow

So I vowed from now until I have a job (that mythical hazy distant future date) not to watch TV during the day any longer. I have been watching WAY TOO much TV. I have always been a big TV watcher (I'm ashamed to admit). I don't really watch the main networks but never miss shows on BRAVO or Food Network and lately TLC, but it makes me depressed to look over the last five months and realize I've done more watching than actual doing.

So from now on I've decided that from the time Dale leaves in the morning until the time he is supposed to get off (5:30 pm) no TV pour moi. Hopefully, this will result in more productivity.

Side note - our building has this cat that just roams the halls, and I often see it walking around the block (which is absolutely charming, I like that she kinda rules the building and this is her turf). Her name is Mindy, and she is orangish with a leather collar - and I love her. I'm pretty sure she belongs to our neighbors down the hall, but right now she is outside our door meowing up a storm. I just opened the door, and she dashed in. It is her first time in our apartment, and she is doing some exploring. I'm pretty sure she just wants food which I am hesitant to give her. What if her owners have already fed her - I'd rather not contribute to the obesity of the feline world. Anywho, I just let her out again because I had a moment of panic if her owners caught her in my apartment - I wouldn't want them to think I'm stealing her - catnapping if you will. Anways, she is still meowing outside the door and making me feel really guilty. If Dale didn't love tuna fish that last can in the pantry would be hers.

I really want a furry friend to play with - I may just go out in the hall and pet her some more. There is no harm in that, right?

Eeeek!

I just saw a mouse run from my kitchen to underneath the heater in the dining room. I froze. I didn't even know what to do. Dale saw a mouse a couple weeks ago in the dining room that ran to the same spot so I'm hoping, I repeat I'm hoping it is the same mouse and not one of his thousand buddies living in our wall.

I haven't convinced myself that it is safe to go into the kitchen and am hiding in the living room. The amazing thing is that the lights were on in the kitchen. I've been in and out of there several times - it's not the middle of the night. This mouse must be very brave or very hungry. But I am totally creeped out.

Also, I do not want to put down sticky pads (that the apartment gave us) because what if a mouse gets stuck, I'll have to get rid of it and get really close to the mouse. EEk...I cringe just thinking about it. I keep glancing over to the heater expecting to see a pair of beady eyes looking up at me saying "Please, can I have some more..." with a tiny little wooden bowl.

Eek...

I Hate Phone Calls

Still no word from Clinique. The woman I interviewed with was supposed to call me yesterday morning...but nada. I don't think I got the job.

Sad, I can't even get a part time job :(

Maybe I'll hear about something tomorrow or not. Either way, I'm back to the grind of doing nothing and looking for jobs - yay!


Weekend was really nice. Dale and I just chilled out and did some chores - grocery shopping, laundry, clean house, etc. I think I'm going to ask if we can play some scrabble in a little bit, but he seems to be enjoying wreaking death and destruction in Fallout (PS That is not our scrabble board above. Dale and I only wish we were that good).

I'm three quarters of the way through Anna Karenina, but I cannot seem to just finish it. It is SO boring. Parts of it are interesting, but so much has already happened that I can't really see what else can happen to these characters, and Russian society is not that interesting.

Reread one of my favorite books as a kid yesterday - Dealing with Dragons. Afterward, I sat down and illustrated some of the story. It was fun if a little lame. It made me really want to read the other three books (instead of finishing Anna Karenina...ha). But I have SO many books I need to read - meaning I've purchased them, but haven't gotten to them yet for whatever reason.

I'm not sure what's on the agenda tomorrow but hopefull I'll hear from Clinique. I hate this :(

Unproductive Day

So Clinique hasn't called :(

I called the woman I met with yesterday to pull the old "I'm planning my schedule for next week and needed to know, etc...", but she was on break when I rang. Anywho, I am being held in suspense.

Today's weather was crazy. It was BEAUTIFUL ! Yesterday it was cloudy and then extremely snowy. Today the skies were bright blue and made the snow a brilliant white. It made me want to go skiing or sledding, but instead I stayed inside looking at my cookbooks and not doing much.

So not much to blog about today except I'm so anxious about the Clinique job since I thought they would have called by now. Ugh, hopefully I'll have a confirmation either way soon.

Comments are allowed

For some reason, I somehow turned "off" (if you can describe it that way) the comments although I have NO IDEA how. But I figured it out...so comments are back on.

Yay for feedback!

Oh the weather outside is frightful...

Today I got to truly understand what a "winter storm warning" actually means in MN, and fortunately, I had enough foresight to take the light rail / bus to the Mall of America for another interview with Clinique. On the way there I was thinking, " it's not evening snowing...damn, I should have taken my car. After my interview (which I will describe in a moment), I got back on the light rail to go home and experienced what can only be described as a white apocalypse.

It was snowing so hard that I couldn't see but a few feet away from the train. It was pretty insane. I have never seen that amount of snow fall from the sky, but that was just the beginning. When I got off the train and had to walk to the bus stop (which was less than a block away), I couldn't see more than a few feet in front of me. And the wind was blowing so hard the snow was "falling" horizontally (Abra, I desperately needed some of that up and down snow you're fond of). I get to the bus stop and wait with a ridiculous amount of people - definitely more people than normal for the middle of the day bus riding. The bus arrived, and we filed on.

So now I get to rant a little about bus etiquette. People who use public transportation - this message is for you. When the bus is packed (meaning there are no more seats and people are standing), please move all the way to the back of the bus to allow for people getting on to have a place to stand. Do not, I repeat DO NOT stand in the same place and expect people to go around you to the back of the bus - it just doesn't work that way. People were lucky today that I was listening to my ipod and zoning out or else I probably would have put on my best pissed off Abra face and assertively asked them to move their inconsiderate asses...actually most likely I just would have scowled in their general direction.

Lack of bus manners wasn't even the amazing part of the storm today. The bus passed at least 15 cars on the way to my apartment that were stuck in the snow and spinning out. There were basically no lanes anymore because cars were spinning out everywhere. Although I am proud of Minnesotians because people would get out of their cars and help each other push their vehicles out of the way. Very awesome!

So I had to walk in the several feet of snow to get home, and now I can brag to my kids that I had to trudge through the freezing snow to get home. Then for the rest of the afternoon, I watched cars try to get up this hill next to the apartment and then slide back down / get stuck/ spin out/ or hit all the parked cars reminding me NEVER to park on 26th street during the winter.

But back to my interview. I will be VERY surprised if I do not get this job (I'm supposed to find out tomorrow). The interview consisted of my future manager giving me the "customer experience" by giving me a make-over. And I have to say after she was done, I really wanted to buy everything she used on me. She made my skin feel amazing. Anywho, it was really laid back, and we just talked about the training process and some procedural stuff like schedules and availability.

So that was my winter storm day - altogether very exciting and interesting. If this ever happened in Texas, the whole state would have shut down. Minnesotians are made of some pretty tough stuff or just enjoy the bragging rights.

I'm not dead...really

So I have gotten terrible lately. I got knocked out of whack with my mom and sister visiting, but now I'm trying to get back in the groove. Also, for some reason when I visit my family (or they visit me) I always feel down the next week. So lately I have not felt like blogging or really doing anything...I'm really tired of being jobless. I went to a Macy's job fair yesterday and felt like a complete failure. I know that's being dramatic, but I really thought I would have a "real" job by now. Anywho, I went and sat through some truly painful group interviews. The other candidates were a lil ghetto and very young (most had never worked before and obviously never interviewed before). After the group interview, one of the group sales managers pulled me aside for a second interview with the head of cosmetics. So it looks like I will be working for Clinique which is highly ironic since my sister worked for Clinique for a while (what are the odds). I have a phone interview tomorrow. It was nice getting out of the house and interviewing for an actual job opening instead of meeting with someone to interview them about their job (I've been doing a lot of that lately). But I keep hoping that my last hopeful position will come through, and I won't have to work for Clinique at all. Overall, I just feel down about the whole thing.

I now understand why a high unemployment rate is such a terrible thing. Besides people being out of work, morale goes way down. I try and keep a positive outlook, but it's tough. I thrive with routine (I know, I'm a toddler) and for the last five months (I know five months, can it really be that long?) I haven't had one. But who knows, maybe this job will lead to something else or I'll find that I absolutely love it...but I'm doubting it.

On a more positive note, today is Ash Wednesday and the beginning of the Lent season. I don't know why I like this season so much, but I always have. This year I am giving up meat for the 40 days, and I know these next two weeks are going to be tough - but I'm excited to do something different. The last several years I've given up sugar and diet coke. I've always wanted to try the vegetarian thing so this is the perfect opportunity. Dale and I are going to the Ash Wednesday service in a few hours which should be nice, and yesterday we had Dairy Queen burgers which was awesome (but Whataburger would have been better) to celebrate Fat Tuesday.

Really overall, life is good. It sounds like I'm miserable, and I am definitely not. I am having the time of my life here in MN and with Dale. I am just ready to start my career again and start contributing. This is just a humbling time, and I'll just have to pay my dues....pay my dues.

Again, Neil Gailman, I mean Henry Selick is a Genius

On Valentines' Day, Dale and I went to go see Coraline. I read this book back in the fall, and my immediate reaction was first "what a freakin' weird but good book" and secondly "how the hell are they are going to make a movie (for kids) out of this." But my friends, they did it and they did it well. I had low expectations for this movie because it was such a weird book with some pretty abstract ideas in it, but I was pleasantly surprised. I absolutely loved the movie and want to see it again. I highly recommend seeing it in 3D while you still can but I am sure it is just as good in 2D. Henry Selick did all the right visuals to portray this book in good form. I am SO excited for Neil Gaiman who I know must be pleased with this portrayal of his book. I also highly recommend reading the book for yourself. It is really short and would be best read at night in your bed alone (so you can get a little creeped out).

(Sigh) I love seeing good movies! Also, I am obsessed with the music it was just too good.

Ear aches, beeps, hugs, and bridal showers

I just learned that someone I've known all through my childhood has just lost her battle with cancer. Sandy Calendar was my elementary school nurse and constant friend at church throughout my life. She has been battling cancer for the last several years and this morning passed away. She has a son and daughter that are around Abra's age, but I never really knew them. I just have vivid memories of her as my nurse and seeing her at every Methodist bridal shower I ever attended. I wanted to honor Sandy with the telling of my first vivid memory of her when I was 8 years old.

When I was in 3rd grade, the whole school was given hearing tests. You had to go into this portable building and wait in line that was scotched tape to the carpet. You went behind this screen where Mrs. Calendar, this petite woman with curly brown hair and pale complexion, would put these huge ear phones on your ears and test you with the beeps. You raised your hand on whatever side you heard the beep. I remember being tested for an extra long time and kept raising the wrong arm. I remember getting upset when there was an extra long pause and I couldn't hear anything (the pitch was too high for me). Mrs. Calendar took the earphones off and asked me in her soft voice if I ever got ear aches (which I did often at this time) and telling me it was okay and giving me a green sucker. Ends up I had an ear infection at the time and was interferring in my hearing.

Several months later I had terrible stomach cramps in the middle of class (I never got sick as a kid) and asked to go to the nurse. On the way there, I threw up in the grass next to the sidewalk and was SO embarrassed. I remember crying the whole way to Mrs. Calendar's office, and she taking me behind a screen and calming me down. She put a cold cloth on my forehead and told me she would call my mom for me. I actually felt tremendously better after throwing up (probably because I had gotten rid of all the chicken rings in my stomach from lunch...grosses me out just thinking about those school lunches), and she and I had a long chat about school and my dad. She was a big fan of him. Always when I felt bad at school or had allergies, I was never scared to go to the nurse because I knew Mrs. Calendar would be there and make it better with her warm hugs and soft voice.

Years later whenever I attended bridal showers with my mom, I would often spend my time chatting with Mrs. Calendar and Mrs. Colwell. She was always so interested in whatever it was I was doing and would ask about Abra and my dad. She was so sweet, and I will miss seeing her at those showers :(

So here is to you Sandy Calendar. You made elementary school all the sweeter and bridal showers all the more memorable. You were a Christian woman through and through, and I can only hope that I will someday be as sweet and sincere as you. May God be with your family during this difficult time. I didn't think I would get emotional writing this but I cannot help having tears running down my cheeks as I type this.

She really was such a sweet person, and my heart is breaking for Amy because I cannot imagine losing my mother so young. I guess it just makes me appreciate what I have - 2 healthy parents so I think I'll call my mom again to tell her how grateful I am for her.

I will miss you Sandy Calendar...

Books..the faves

I don't think I have ever listed my top ten favorite books ever. These are the books I feel were the most influential and that I could read over and over. I am listing these in no particular order:

1. Stardust by Neil Gaiman

• I can remember reading this book for the first time in 8th grade and absolutely loving it. I recently reread it and got teary at the ending all of over again.

2. East of Eden by John Steinbeck

• I read this book sophomore year of high school, and I remember having a lot of trouble finishing the book. I reread it last June and realized that I might have been too young to read it the first time. So many allusions and character choices were over my head then, and now I can fully appreciate this tragic but beautiful story.

3. Something Wicked this Way Comes by Ray Bradbury

• I read this during the spring of my freshman year of college and picked it up thinking it would be difficult to read. If you want a chilling easy read that takes you back to that awkward time in your life when you were wanting to grow up so fast but were scared to understand all the complexities of sex and responsibility, this book is the right choice. I absolutely love it. I recommend reading it around Halloween because it describes autumn so well and will really get you in the mood for All Hollows Eve.

4. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows by J.K. Rowling

• I love all the Harry Potters and can reread them over and over again. I choose this one as my favorite because it made all the years of reading the books worth it. I picked up my first Harry Potter in 6th grade in my jr. high library. Our librarian Mrs. Plotts had just ordered it and asked me read it to tell her if it was good. I can remember flying through it and reading it during my science class when we were supposed to be reading our text book, but finishing the last sentence of the last page of the last book of this series was one of the most satisfying feelings I've ever had while reading a book and that is why it is my favorite of the seven.

5. BFG by Roald Dahl

• I cannot honestly remember reading this for the first time but feel like I've owned it forever. It will always be among my collection of books. And whenever I am feeling down or have watched a really depressing/scary/ or intense movie, I can always take this one out and feel better again. Plus I think it's funny that Dale thought BFG stood for big fucking giant...that's funny.

6. The Stand by Stephen King

• My mom and sister convinced me to read this the summer I graduated from UT. I was REALLY reluctant because it sounded boring, and I knew Stephen King had a reputation for writing eerie stories and I just didn't think I would be into it. I was completely wrong. This book took over my life for 5 days. I read nonstop and was completely absorbed into the story. Poor Dale had to listen to me theorize about what would happen and analyze all the characters. This is the first book I have ever read where I could completely sympathize with the villains. You see their development before they are truly bad and see what influences make them choose certain actions/ choices. I understood why they did what they did and couldn't honestly say that I would have acted differently. Truly an amazing piece of fiction that makes you take a look at integrity and appreciate how truly fragile our government and society is. So kudos to Mom and Abra for making me a Stephen King fan because he really is a writing genius even if he sucks at directing movies.

7. Persuasion by Jane Austen

• I had watched this movie with my mom many times and thought it was a romantic but boring story. On a whim, I picked up this book last summer and fell in love with it. Jane Austen usually gets fame for Pride and Prejudice (which I also highly recommend), but this book is about a mild-mannered, sincere character who gets the short end of the stick most of them time but in the end (because she was herself) receives her happiness. I just LOVE this book and get teary eyed every time I think of it. Great book for this month!

8. Green Rider by Kristen Britain

• I have reread this book so many times I can't even read it any more because I get bored because I have it almost memorized. I read this in 8th grade staying up all Saturday night (I was such the wild child) and just loved the adventure and free-will of the main character. I don't really recommend this book to the average reader because it has the teen melodrama that I loved at that time and it has more sentimental value for me than truly great writing. The book is the first in a quartet (which the 4th book still hasn't come out, come on Kristen it's been a decade), and the other books are just as good but this one takes me back to being 14, sharing a room with Abra, and staying up all night reading and eating Doritos.

9. Lioness Rampant by Tamora Pierce

• Again, it's a book in a series that I loved as a kid. I can still reread this series and be entertained. If you know of any young preteen girls that need a good book, this is a great series to inspire independence and woman power. I can remember reading this book and wanting to take on the chauvinistic world of men and become a knight....but then remembered I was in the 90's where Britney Spears ruled so I would have to be more subtle in my battle for women empowerment. I chose the last book in the series as my favorite, because it ends really well without compromising the story. Ha, I also remember this was the first book I read that had sex in it (no pornographic romance novel sex, but just an allusion to "spending the night").

10. The Baker's Boy by James Malory

• A trilogy with truly heinous villains, I loved this series. Dale teases me if I ever bring out the books to reread saying "Didn't you JUST read that." Again, I read this when I was romantic teenager anxious to get out Madisonville and start my own adventures. This is fantasy in it's purest forms with knights and wizards, but the complexity of the story was what really drew me in. It has a lot of conspiracy, and the story is told from several different points of view. Ha, and this is the 2nd book I ever read that sex in it, but much more graphic than the first.

oooh...Craving

I'm watching an episode of Gilmore Girls and craving a plate of Thanksgiving dinner. Why do I always crave holiday food during the wrong season?

Yesterday I went to a PRSA networking event. Right before heading to the restaurant, I almost convinced myself not to go. If you have ever been to one of these things, you can understand how awkward and uncomfortable they can be. However, they can also be really great if you talk to people you click with. I was feeling drained from visiting bookstores yesterday (I was applying for part-time jobs) and didn't really have the energy. I knew I would be mad at myself if I didn't go so I forced myself, and now I'm REALLY glad I went. I met a lot of really great helpful people. I seem to always forget that everyone wants to help me find a job. No one is ever going to say "That sucks, good luck finding something." People always genuinely try to help, and it makes me feel so good to know human kind is so kind. I feel like we take for granted how giving people can be.

So today, I am going to spend my time following up with the people I met and looking at some of the job postings/ web sites people recommended. This afternoon I'll be heading over to Mall of America and the Southdale Mall to apply at some stores there (Gap and Barnes and Noble) so wish me luck!

It's been a while...

I've gotten a little off track with my postings, and it's been a while. My mother visited this past weekend, and it was truly fabulous. But of course I'm feeling a little down this week after having so much fun those few days she was here. We went wedding dress shopping...and we found one! It's all starting to feel real, and I'm getting really excited. 

My sister is coming next week to decide on a bridesmaid's gown, and I will get to show her the dress. I would post a picture and go into great detail about the loveliness that is my wedding gown, but Dale reads this blog from time to time :)

Also, on Sunday after taking my mom to the airport, Dale and I went for a run which was fabulous but even before that we were on a mission to go to this yarn store that I've been wanting to check out. I have some knitting projects that need yarn, but when we went to the shop, of course it was closed because any time I got out of my way to see a new shop it must be closed. Anywho, disappointed, Dale and I walked next door to a children's book store. My friends if you know anything about me you know my obsession with books and especially children's books so I was excited but had no idea what was in store. First off, the shop had a door within a door. There was a smaller child size door within the larger door which Dale and I promptly used. Inside the shop, there were chickens walking around and cages all over the place with rabbits, ferrets, birds, lizards, and spiders. The ceiling had a huge crack in it (purposefully made) so it looked like you could see the sky above. There was a shack in the far corner of the store to hold all the scary books and comfy chairs behind every corner. In short, it was the most amazing book store I have ever been in. Dale and I did not want to leave, but because we were not buying anything, we felt it necessary to eventually depart. 

So I've decided to apply at local bookstores, including the one described above, to make some money until I get a full time gig. I'm REALLY sick of unemployment and am going to a networking thing tomorrow with PRSA. I'm not really that excited about it, but hopefully it will go well and I will meet some new people. Keep me in your prayers because I'm about to lose my mind with boredom...but as my mother used to say if you're bored its because you're a boring person...actually I don't think Mom said that. I think it was our neighbor Mrs. Lowry. I guess it is a part of the choices I make, but hopefully working at a bookstore will pass the time if I can get a job. Darn this recession.