Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Good days, bad days

So some days I wake up energized ready to tackle the job market excited to find something. Other days (and they are increasing), I wake up feeling depressed not wanting to send 20 emails to receive none in return. I'm just getting really, really tired. Target has been great because it helps pays the bills, and I have met some great people....but I hate it. I'm SOOOO ready to quit. I feel like I spend 90% of my time there daydreaming about the day I will get to quit and start at another job.

While I'm at Target I feel bored but tired/stressed the whole time. I'm on my feet for 8 hours, but I'm not using my head at all. Also, I could live without dealing with the crazies that tend to shop there. I feel like such a complainer. I don't mean to be. I'm just so tired.

I get so depressed thinking about the amount of time I've been without a "real" job. I've been in Minneapolis for almost nine months. I've been out of school for 2 years but only have a year of experience and almost a year of idleness. It's just really frustrating and I feel like it's my fault. That I'm not trying hard enough because I feel like I should have a job by now.

Because I've been in limbo so long, I feel like employers are looking at my resume thinking "what's wrong with her that she hasn't found a job yet." I know the economy is tough and jobs are scarce, but I thought I would have more luck.

I know it's all about keeping the faith, having hope. Just some days are harder than others especially when I go into work at Target. I'm just ready.

But I know tomorrow will probably be a good day and need to get through this bad one.

1 comment:

  1. I totally feel you on the idleness thing. I've been working retail since I graduated, coming up on two years now. But it's not forever. We both know that we're capable of more than what we're doing. It's done a number on my self-esteem, self-worth. Fortunately, what we DO have is so much better than money or jobs - really awesome spouses (or soon-to-be spouse), supportive families, and great friends. French friends! French friends for life!

    Call me soon, we'll throw a really awesome pity party.