I'm not dead...really

So I have gotten terrible lately. I got knocked out of whack with my mom and sister visiting, but now I'm trying to get back in the groove. Also, for some reason when I visit my family (or they visit me) I always feel down the next week. So lately I have not felt like blogging or really doing anything...I'm really tired of being jobless. I went to a Macy's job fair yesterday and felt like a complete failure. I know that's being dramatic, but I really thought I would have a "real" job by now. Anywho, I went and sat through some truly painful group interviews. The other candidates were a lil ghetto and very young (most had never worked before and obviously never interviewed before). After the group interview, one of the group sales managers pulled me aside for a second interview with the head of cosmetics. So it looks like I will be working for Clinique which is highly ironic since my sister worked for Clinique for a while (what are the odds). I have a phone interview tomorrow. It was nice getting out of the house and interviewing for an actual job opening instead of meeting with someone to interview them about their job (I've been doing a lot of that lately). But I keep hoping that my last hopeful position will come through, and I won't have to work for Clinique at all. Overall, I just feel down about the whole thing.

I now understand why a high unemployment rate is such a terrible thing. Besides people being out of work, morale goes way down. I try and keep a positive outlook, but it's tough. I thrive with routine (I know, I'm a toddler) and for the last five months (I know five months, can it really be that long?) I haven't had one. But who knows, maybe this job will lead to something else or I'll find that I absolutely love it...but I'm doubting it.

On a more positive note, today is Ash Wednesday and the beginning of the Lent season. I don't know why I like this season so much, but I always have. This year I am giving up meat for the 40 days, and I know these next two weeks are going to be tough - but I'm excited to do something different. The last several years I've given up sugar and diet coke. I've always wanted to try the vegetarian thing so this is the perfect opportunity. Dale and I are going to the Ash Wednesday service in a few hours which should be nice, and yesterday we had Dairy Queen burgers which was awesome (but Whataburger would have been better) to celebrate Fat Tuesday.

Really overall, life is good. It sounds like I'm miserable, and I am definitely not. I am having the time of my life here in MN and with Dale. I am just ready to start my career again and start contributing. This is just a humbling time, and I'll just have to pay my dues....pay my dues.